Anthropologists are fond of observing, rather coldly, that a father is not essential to his child’s survival after it is conceived. Should a father be serving in the military in Iraq, to use one example, neither his presence or his life is required for the birth and survival of his child.
No one will argue that this and other depressing scenarios are impossible, but the plain fact of the matter is that these scenarios are exceptions and not the norm of human life. The enduring and positive presence of a father is crucial for the survival and prosperity of the entire family.
The presence of the father is the first of two absolute necessities which are the guarantors of a family’s psychological and spiritual well-being and maturity. The second guarantor is his life-long bond to the mother of his children in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
Why does a child need a father for his or her spiritual well-being? Leaving some room for mystery, we first would venture to say, “So goes the father, so goes the family”. Without doubt, a father’s example before his children is exceptionally powerful whether for good or ill.
A father protects his family and provides for it. He mediates his children’s gradual independence from the immediate family and self-sufficiency in the world. He provides a solid example of work moderated by leisure, love protected by respect, and inspiration governed by authority.
With this in mind, a family’s long-term loyalty to a holy way of life and habit of faithful religious observance is entirely dependent on the father’s very personal and unfailing example.
A father’s refusal to lead and guide strongly in the practice of religion actually may deal a mortal blow to the stability, maturity and longevity of the core relationships of his family. A father’s laziness and indifference to God and to the Church may compromise the well-being of his children long after they have left his home.
A father should lead and guide his family strongly in faith by the being the best example of faith. The mother of his children should not have to bear the burden of faithful witness alone.
More than ever these days, men who are fathers are called upon to share the raising of children and share the domestic responsibilities of the home. This is a good thing and is the occasion for being schooled in the virtue of humility.
But remember this fathers: As your active presence in your family’s life is vital, your presence in the gathered Church—the Family of Faith—is equally as vital.
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